Sunday, March 13, 2005

Oodles Of Doodles - or - Brooke Burke Is Playing At My House

The art world just came crashing into my living room, totally uninvited. I was just waking up, puttering around the house, thinking about how totally mindblowing it is that Rosie O'Donnell has a blog AND is a huge Kanye fan, and POW, in busts the fucking art world.

"You're NOT invited to the Damien Hirst opening," it said, suddenly and haughtily, throwing a high-collared cape over it's gaunt shoulder. Shit, I was kinda just minding my own business over here, art world. I offered it a cup of coffee, but it just turned up it's aquiline nose and re-arranged the sparkly dangly things.

"The Armory Show is DEFINITELY OUT. The -scope fair? NOT HAPPENING. PS1, you're TOO LATE," the art world scoffed, and slapped me across the face with a copy of the New York Post's weekend spotlight on art happenings around the city. The goddam POST is this focused? I scratched my head, tugged on my sleeve and asked the art world to kindly leave, thank you very much.

Turning on E!, my nostrils still burning with patchouli, I was delighted to find a re-run of "Wild On: Ibiza!" I smiled, taking a good slug of warm coffee.

Thank you, Brooke Burke.

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